NarCandy

Candy Cane flavored

Medium Roast

Somewhere between the midnight transfer from the North Pole ICU and an “accidental” detour through the breakroom, this bag of contraband ended up in our hands. Rumor has it, it was confiscated from Santa’s ALS kit after an elf got caught self-administering “therapeutic holiday doses.”

We took our smooth, specialty-grade medium roast and laced it with enough peppermint to frostbite your tongue, then smoothed it out with creamy vanilla so it goes down easier than a morphine push on Christmas Eve. It’s the perfect blend of naughty and nice — heavy on the naughty.

☕ Clears your sinuses, your conscience, and maybe your last meal.

☕ Sweet enough to make you forget the smell of burnt ham in the day room oven.

☕ Minty fresh, so no one knows you’ve been screaming at dispatch under your breath.

Seasonal only — because if we kept it year-round, it would vanish faster than the narc log after a holiday potluck.

Warning: May cause sudden “inventory shortages,” unexplained bursts of joy, and one or two elves going AMA.